Cinderella's Version of Events, Both Acts
by CinderellaAtTheBall
Summary: Cinderella's version of what happened to her in Into The Woods. Rated T for language.
1. Act One

**CatB: Just like everything else on this account, this is being reposted. (See my profile page if you want to know why). Enjoy!**

**Cinderella's Drabble: The First Act**

I'm Cinderella

I hope to go to the King's ball

My stepmother and stepsisters laugh at me

I'll show them

My stepsisters are mean

The _evil_ stepsisters

My stepmother is too

Why are they so mean to me?

I think they're just jealous of my beauty!

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Great. My stepmother just dropped the frickin' lentils into the ashes, ON PURPOSE!

She says that if I pick through them in two hours then I can go to the festival

What does she think I am, a frickin' magician?

-grumble-

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My birdie friends just finished helping me pick the lentils out of the ashes

Oh my God, I never want to see a lentil again 

Oh, look. Here come my pathetic stepsissies, _forcing_ me to help _them_ get ready for the ball

Lucinda's dress has a tear. How unfortunate

And Florinda wants her hair in a twist

Now she says I'm not twisting hard enough

I'll give her a hard twist!

OW! She just slapped me! Bitch.

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They just left

I tried to convince them that I should go too

They just ignored me, as did my father

What shall I do?

I know. I'm such a genius

I'll visit the grave of my mother!

Off I go into the woods!

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My mother was able to help

She gave me gold and silver dress

And gold slippers to match

I don't know how, but-

-gasp-

My outfit is…COORDINATED!

I love my mom

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I went through the woods to escape the Prince

How ironic is that?

I went to the festival to meet the Prince, and then I run away from him

Well, he can't know who or what I am

My stupid _matching_ slippers made me fall in front of this random woman

She helped me up and I told her about the ball

When the Prince came along I hid

When he asked where I was she lied for me

He went off in completely the wrong direction What a moron!

Well, a nice, handsome, _rich_ moron

I'm thinking about that woman and how she lied to royalty for…me

Me. Cinderella

That was nice

No one is ever nice to me

Her niceness makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside!

She was quite strange though

Why the hell does her husband need a cow to undo a spell?

That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!

And she was weirdly fixated by my golden shoes

What if she has a foot fetish?

That would be so freaky!

Well, she said she needed my _shoes_

So much for the fetish idea 

But hasn't she ever heard of Target?

You can buy shoes at Target for cheap

I'll suggest that the next time I see her!

---------------------------------

I ran into the random woman again tonight after the second evening of the festival

No, I didn't run into her

More like fell in front of her AGAIN

I'm such a klutz it's not even funny

That voice inside my head is laughing at me now

DAMN YOU, STUPID VOICE!!!

-grumble-

Anyway, the random woman who might have a shoe fetish -not a foot fetish- asked about my shoes again

Then she asked about the ball and the Prince

She really is random, no?

Or maybe just on crack or something

But when I tried to run after hearing the Prince's voice (Oh, his beautiful, princely voice), she totally wouldn't let me!

She grabbed my shoe (which I had taken off) and wouldn't let go

And she made a comment about needing it to have a baby

How does that work?!

Does she want to have sex with my shoe?!

I thought she was married!

Maybe she really is on crack!

Finally I got the shoe away, thank God

What a weird woman

--------------------------------

I guess the Prince isn't really a moron

That sucks

I kinda wanted him to be, but I guess he's not

He _did_ manage to get one of my shoes

He spread pitch on the steps of his castle

When I left the festival, I was stuck

It was really hard to make the decision

Stay and be caught?

Or escape?

I changed my mind

He's definitely an idiot

It took me _forever_ to pry my shoes out of the frickin' pitch

Stupid bastard

He was probably so proud of that plan

It didn't work

He must be devastated

He's not getting any sympathy from me!

And I ran into the Shoe Fetish Lady again

She was like, chasing me!

Then she had the nerve to offer me a bean in exchange for a slipper!

A bean!

A "magic" bean, she claimed

I'm not stupid

She made that comment again- the one about needed the shoe to have a child

The Prince was getting closer

My feet hurt

She gave me her shoes in exchange for my remaining slipper

It's so weird

I still don't get why she needed my shoe

Unless she's going to sleep with it there's no way she can use it to have a child

And how do you sleep with an inanimate object?

Never mind, I don't want to know

Maybe she was talking in code!

Or maybe not

Whatever

I don't care

---------------------------

I am a genius

I was so right to leave my shoe on the steps of the Prince's palace!

He came to my house with my shoe

Every maiden in the kingdom was going to try it on until he found the foot that fit

I felt kinda bad about that

Anyway, he let my stepsissies and mom try it on

No fit!

When he asked if anyone else lived there, my stepmom told him that I didn't matter. Bitch

He insisted, so I got to try it on

It fit perfectly! (No duh!)

My stepsissies were soooo envious

Having people be envious of you is a nice feeling

Well, we went off to his palace to become man and wife and live happily ever after

Oh, and I ran into Shoe Fetish Lady yet again, but this time she was pregnant!

By my shoe or by her husband, I'm not really sure…

**CPF: To be continued in Cinderella's Version of Events, Act Two.**


	2. Act Two

**CPF: Here's the second act of Cinderella's Version of Events. I'm sorry it took so long to update, if anyone was actually looking forward to the update. I went off the junior version, because that's the version I was in (unfortunately). So it cuts out a lot of the stuff from the regular version. Sorry about that, but I knew this version better. It's not as funny as the first act, in my opinion, but that might be because everyone dies-I mean, um, you didn't hear anything. Enjoy!**

**Cinderella's Version of Events, Act Two**

In Act One, I was poor

Now that I'm married, I want to be the perfect wife

The Prince's wife must be perfect

No pressure or anything!

Hmm. My steward says some baker is here to see me

Well, being a princess, I must see him

You know, ask his problem, see what I can do to help

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Well, that was strange

The baker guy was like, "There's a giant in the land."

And I was like, "Eh?"

Though not exactly in those words

Then he was like, "Yeah, there are footprints."

And my steward totally disagreed!

Basically, the conversation ended with me telling the baker guy that I would tell the Prince

He looked slightly comforted

At least he didn't start crying out of relief

I've seen people do that

It scares me

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Wow.

What are the odds I would meet Baker Guy (as I call him now) in the woods?

I was crying because the tree at my mom's grave was destroyed

Baker Guy thought I looked like the princess

He didn't recognize me in my 'poor' clothes

Then he realized I _was _the princess and starting bowing like an idiot

I wish people wouldn't do that

They're a tripping hazard when lying on the ground like that!

Anyway, he said I would be safe with him, so I followed along

That was stupid, now that I think about it

He could have been some freaky pervert

Or something

So I followed him back to where he was supposed to meet his wife

Remember his wife?

Shoe Fetish Lady?

Well, she wasn't there

So he started freaking out

Which was sweet because it showed that he loved her

I say 'loved' because it turns out she was killed by the giant

That freaky Witch broke the news

Then everyone started getting all PMS-y on each other and blaming everyone else for their problems

We all ended up blaming that stupid Witch

I mean, _she_ was the one who cast a spell on the Baker Guy's family, which started everything else off

After getting all our feelings out into the open, Baker Guy tried to leave

He tried to leave his baby!

He said his child would be happier in the arms of a princess (AKA me)

Then he left

He came back though

After a run-in with his father

Little Red and Jack (who had joined us in the woods on our adventure) and I were so happy to see him

We started to formulate a plan

My birdie friends were flying by and they helped me come up with a plan

Little Red was surprised I could talk to birds

It's not that amazing

Quite easy, really

So, we decided to trap the giant's feet in some pitch (like that Prince did to capture my shoe)

Then Jack and Baker Guy (as he shall forever be known as) would climb a tree and strike her, twice

They all ran off to get the pitch from Little Red's granny's house

Why the old lady had pitch at her house, I don't know, nor do I want to

Unfortunately, the Prince came while they were gone and we pretty much divorced each other without the legal procedure

Okay, here's what happened:

The Prince, after _finally _recognizing me, asked what I was doing in the woods with a child

That was a good question

I think he thought the child was _mine!_

-shudder-

So I had to ask him why he was cheating on me

Talk about awkward!

To top it all off, before he left, the Prince said, "I shall always love the maiden who ran away."

Psh. Yeah, right.

Well, what could I say to that?

I said, "And I the faraway Prince."

I didn't mean it, nor did he mean what he said

Words

That's all they were

-sigh-

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When Little Red, Jack, and Baker Guy returned, Little Red said her granny was gone

Poor thing

She was worried about doing the right thing

She thought her granny and mom would be angry that she was going to kill the giant

I didn't know what to say to that either

I had to tell her that no one is truly alone, ever

I think it made her feel better

Then the giant came and asked where Jack and Baker Guy were (not in those exact words, but you get the idea)

We pointed her in the direction of the tree in which Jack and Baker Guy were hiding and my birdie friends were clustered around

The giant's giant feet got stuck in the pitch

My birdie friends pecked her eyes out

And Jack and Baker Guy whacked her with clubs

After that, the four of us reunited beside the now dead giant

It was such a happy ending

Jack had no one to take care of him because my steward killed his mother (I guess I'll be doing background checks on any more possible servants of mine)

Little Red decided she would be his mother

But Jack actually wanted a friend

Little Red also decided the two of them would move in with Baker Guy, who readily agreed

Jack invited me to live with the three of them and I said I would because I sometimes liked cleaning

So that was our happy ending

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The moral of the story?

Go into the woods to solve all your problems!

Well, not really, but whatever

I was trying to make the story slightly educational, so sue me!

**CPF: Well, that's Cinderella's point of view. Please review to tell me what you thought. I look at (and usually review) the stories of the people who review my stories! If I don't know anything about the topics you write about, however, I don't usually read them, because I don't understand them. Sorry. :( **


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